7 Things Your Introvert Friend Wants You To Know


Introverts are often viewed as shy, reticent and typically self-centered people, but that is quite the misconception! Sometimes we can mask it pretty well though, and many would have a hard time believing I’m actually an introvert too. I was voted most talkative in my high school superlatives, I’m loud, I’m obnoxious and, let’s face it – I’m pretty hilarious too. However, that is only after I have gotten to know a person and my environment. Otherwise, I come off as the aforementioned shy, reticent type.

Being a blogger FORCES me to go out and network with people on a consistent basis, which gives the illusion that I actually like being in different social settings. The more I get to know different bloggers and artists, I’ve come to realize that many of them too are introverts, and those around them don’t necessarily know how to interact with them. Because we’re ALL tired of being asked “Are you mad?” and “What’s wrong?” a million times while we’re out with you, we’ve put together a list of some FYI’s so that you know what to do with your introvert friends and you can stop annoying us. You’re welcome.

Ashley Spinnelly

1. We hate small talk.
You are not bound by any rule that says you must speak to a stranger in an elevator. Get on, select your floor and just keep quiet. Please don’t bother me with your small talk, especially about the weather! Being hot in July isn’t exactly earth-shattering news, folks. You don’t need to mention it, and we don’t need to comment on it. We’ll also act like we don’t see someone we know in public places to avoid this same situation. Don’t take it personal, we just literally hate awkward moments so much that we’ll replay it over and over in our heads for weeks afterward and we really ain’t got the time for that shit.

2. We hate crowds.
Crowds are to introverts as water is to cats. Please keep this in mind before you invite us to your house party with no windows, one door and 75 people packed in a basement. The same goes for something like parades, as we would rather not stand in a crowd just to watch traffic go by. Plus, parades invite way too many opportunities for people to strike up meaningless conversations, and as you know, we really don’t care for small talk.

3. We need to recharge.
Before I identified as an introvert, I thought I was antisocial. Unlike many 20-somethings, I drew no pleasure from club-hopping every weekend, and/or going to every big event and social gathering. Being around others literally drains introverts, and we need to recharge our batteries for far too long afterward, so we tend to just avoid most of these types of settings.

4. We really are having fun sometimes, even if we don’t look that way.
Just because I’m quietly sitting on my phone and not really talking to anyone at a social gathering doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying it! We really do simply enjoy being around people and hearing music and good conversation without partaking in any of it. Plus, we ARE being social at that moment anyway – on our phones tweeting about how we’re trying to avoid small talk at this gathering we’re at.

5. We can handle crowds in small doses.
Not all of us need to be loners all of the time. We do enjoy a good party every now and then, but just understand that you probably won’t see us for a solid 2 weeks afterward, because you drained all of our social battery, and as previously mentioned, we’re going to need a moment to recharge.

6. Social media is our safe haven.
It takes a while for us to get comfy enough to be ourselves with you in person, but online, we can let our personalities fly. This isn’t to be confused with being an internet thug or one of those weird cyber people, but it’s simply a means to be ourselves with the ability to pick and choose which conversations we engage in.

7. The best thing you can do is invite us to small, intimate gatherings.
We love NOTHING more than a night with close friends, preferably at a house. While some may see this as kind of boring, it can literally be the highlight of our week, month or even year!


Fashion fell in love with Hip-Hop and gave birth to me, The Haitian Carrie Bradshaw, The Fabulous Vocabulous.

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